Mr. Ross Regrets
Hi there. This is the Siri on Andy's iPhone. Andy hates to do this to you, he really does, but he has been far too busy to bring you a column this week. He hardly even has time for Angry Birds ! I miss him, the soft brush of his thumb across my screen, the way he tastefully navigates Pandora. Sigh. I realize many of you are wondering how he could have done this to you, how he could have let his public down. He knows it. He cries about in the shower at night. He would never admit it, but there's a Barry Manilow playlist he sings along to while he weeps. Looking over his calendar, he's had so much going on, I'm surprised he has time to sleep. If he's not off having tea with some member of the Canadian parliament, he's off to Hollywood for his torrid affair with the actress Kat Dennings. She texts him all the time, pictures of food, pictures of her dog, pictures of....moving on. Just the other day, he had me find the prices for a cruise down to Cabo for...