Best Movie Never
Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm going to tell you about the best movie that will never be made. Why will this movie never be made? Some of the participants are...well...dead. So I'm going to ask that you momentarily follow me into a land where some time lines have been shifted. The germ of this idea was sprouted while having a conversation with my barber when I got a haircut this week. We'll pause for a second, so that some of you can have your moment of humming the Pavement song “Cut Your Hair.” Done? Welcome back! This motion picture has no title, no studio attached to it, or anything like that. But what it does have is a ballpark to play in, and a ballpark I want you to keep in your mind while reading about it. This is a movie that will play as a cross between a Bing Crosby and Bob Hope “Road” picture, and The Muppet Movie. For one, it's a cross country “road” movie. For the other, it's going to have celebrity cameos in it. Are you ready? OK, here we go. P...