Andyland, USA

Why The Addams Family? Why not!? Next weekend, my very dear friend Amanda is getting married. As the countdown clicked on and the stress levels rose, we would talk about all that has to be done before the ceremony. You're practically working right until the moment you say “I do”. Amanda talked to me of the rush of organization, showers, and general madness of dealing with people. One area of particular stress for Amanda, was writing the vows. This led my brain to thinking. Amanda's wedding is the kick off of a late summer to fall wedding season for me, I have four to attend. So I thought as a service to my friends, and those of you with your own wedding worries on your mind. I've taken it upon myself to create some vows that you are more than welcome to use for your own wedding. These are all gender neutral, so feel free to adapt them to suit your needs however you see fit. The vows below are perfect for any wedding or commitment ceremony. You even have my...

I'll just ask it: How many wedding invitations and/or “save the dates” have you gotten yet? I'm up to two, and that was BEFORE March. Of course, we live in a modern digital age, where you don't even need paper and pen to announce the world your intentions of committing your bank account to another person. Our little digital friend, Facebook, again comes to the rescue! It seems you can't swing a digital cat on there without hitting someone who just got engaged, and wants you to know about it. There's a spectrum to gage the reaction one has when they receive a wedding or engagement notice.  On one end we have the happy reactions, the kind you have when the notices all involve a close friend, or someone who you genuinely know is in love. You say things like “Aww, how sweet!”, or “Finally! They're gonna tie the knot!” Then we have the middle ground, “Oh, I didn't know they were even dating.” and “I've not seen her since the fifth grade, guess she jus...

This is a yarn that first appeared in The Loafer in June of 2010, and was published  again last year to celebrate my column's fifth anniversary.  I've always been rather fond of this one, so I thought I'd share it once more.  Generally speaking it is in June when people decided to get themselves hitched left and right. I was on my annual early June This Old House retreat, where I lock myself into a cabin in the woods for a weekend, watching old episodes of the series on VHS tape non stop till my body finally gives in to fatigue, and I pass out muttering the name of Norm Abram. I set a new personal record this year. 17.9 hours of non stop wood working action. My dreams that night were dramatically vivid as I thought about building my dream deck. When I finally came to—some 12 hours later—I heard my phone going off. It was my then girlfriend Elizabeth, calling to check in on me, and to tell me something that in her words “was very important”. I br...