Another Decade
I write this week's column in the last few days of 2014, with New
Year's Day coming at us in four days or so. With that in mind, let me
begin by saying GREETINGS FROM THE PAST! What is this wonderful new
world of 2015 like? Are there not flying deloreans yet? (Side note,
y'all do realize this will be the year we are flooded with jokes
about “Back To The Future, Part Two” right?) This week's column
will be a little bit more introspective than usual, the column that
runs around this time of the year usually is, as it coincides with my
birthday.
This
year things feel slightly different, the usual introspection has been
going on since late summer, because the week this column comes out,
will be the same week that I turn 30. The nature of it being my 30th
is why I think this whole year my birthday has been on my mind quite
a bit. Birthday's don't really bother me, so it's not the idea of
getting older that is on my mind. I've seen people I went to high
school with freak out on Facebook over turning 27, and I just look at
that and think “Get a grip.”
The biggest thing that turning 30 has triggered inside of me is a
look back at my twenties. I have a few regrets, but I'm letting them
go and embracing what my 30s could be, full of potential and I think
a move beyond all the things that—for a lack of better
terms—haunted me. My twenties were filled up some good times, bad
times (Cue Led Zeppelin), and up and down times. I struggled with not
liking myself, with depression and anxiety. Those still tick up from
time to time, and I suspect they always will to a degree. But now
it's OK.
That being said the way I feel about turning 30 is that I feel OK
with myself. I feel good about who I am and how I am and how I
function. I like me more now than I ever have before, that's a
wonderful feeling. I'm comfortable. In terms of the actual age I
don't feel really any different. Maybe a little more wiser, a little
more mature. But I don't feel as if I'm about to be 30 in the same
way I never really felt any different when I turned 29 or 28 or 27.
At a recent party I was discussing this very subject with a friend,
we both were talking about how we don't particularly feel our age. We
know we are these “adult” type people, but we still feel like a
kid on the inside, and still get as much excited now as we did then
about cartoons and board games and other lovely things. I think that
feeling of being “age neutral” is one of the keys to staying
young in both mind and body. There are people her and I went to
school with who look like they were hung up in a smokehouse for a
year, and her and I feel we're looking pretty much on an even kiel.
So that's where I am this week, excited for another year of life,
and hopefully another full decade. Feeling hopeful about the future,
and feeling more relaxed with myself than ever before. I have a good
feeling about 30, and 2015 in general. Now just to sit back and wait
for my hover board to come in.
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