Andyland, USA

I was going to spend this past Valentine's Day the way I normally do. Eating tuna from a can, and watching Knight Rider reruns in my underwear (you're welcome, ladies). My friend Evelyn was going to spend it getting drunk and singing Adele songs at the top of her lungs. We decided it would be for the best if we both went out together, instead of doing things that would get us judgmental looks from our pets. This meant for a stress free Valentine's Day. I didn't have to worry about flowers, cards, or candy. We just went out, had a good time, and cracked jokes about the couples around us. There was the group of two couples, middle aged, who were out just to enjoy each other's company. There was the high school couple, who were out on their first “real date”. It was charming to see, also to see our waiter franticly trying to keep up. The couples that were there just because it was the thing to do seemed downright tense. As if a huge banner was flashing ab

When I can't think of a picture to use, I post one of Audrey Hepburn This past Friday I went out to the movies with some friends. It's not that going to the movies in an unusual occurrence for me, I just dislike the experience most of the time at the mega plex. We went to see a movie on opening night, and the theater was fairly full. We arrived early, which when you consider how many ads and previews you're subjected to before the actual movie starts, meant nearly an hour before. The theater was fairly full, and the row I was in was full. With the exception of two empty seats at my right, cut off by a young couple at the end of the row.  The house lights had dimmed, the previews were about half way through. Still, a few stragglers began to make their way into the theater. From the corner of my eye, I could see a figure coming up the aisle. There were plenty of seats above, and below, but this person chose to sit directly next to me. Not in the chair next to t

I should have known something was going to be off on that particular Valentine's Day, when it began with the discovery of a dead pigeon in my oven. In that early post-sleep fog of morning, you're never quite sure of what is going on till that first cup of coffee kicks in. So as I stood there, looking into my oven, I couldn't help but wonder if the dead bird inside was real or not. I closed the door, shook my head, and opened it again. It was real alright, and resting on a rack in the upper third of my oven.  I sat down at my kitchen table, and tried to wrap my head around what could have transpired that would result in a dead pigeon in my oven. I had not been out the night before, nor did I own any pet birds. The cat's birthday was still a few months away, and I doubt that any doors or windows would have been open long enough for a pigeon to make it's way into my home. I called my friend Casey, he is something of a bird expert. Birds, and video games, a

I have an odd relationship with the movie genre known as horror. I really don't care for it, and I'm not really a fan of scary movies. I like suspenseful movies, and everyone knows I adore Hitchcock, but they are not the same thing. However, there are some films that are horror movies that I like a lot. I like older horror movies, ones where it's not about franchises, or gore, or blood, or creepy people. But onces where there are monsters, weird goings on, and—are you ready for this—a storyline. I love William Castle's horror movies because they are so wonderfully out there. I love campy American International horror movies for their goofiness. But I don't care for slasher films, or any of the current crop of horror hits. But I liked the 2nd Evil Dead film, as it made me laugh really loud. Modern horror fans, regardless if you want to admit it or not, every single movie you've seen in a theater, at home, or on cable, owes it's existence to one set