Ask Dr. Andy

-


From time to time, as a public service, we here at The Loafer like to take some of your pressing questions and ask them to our foremost expert, Dr. Andy. The mailbag has been overflowing with questions lately, and we felt the time was right for some responses. As always, we wish to remind you that Dr. Andy is not an actual doctor, though he does DVR General Hospital, and watch it every night before going to bed. And now, Ask Dr. Andy.

Dear Dr. Andy,

This summer my wife and I have been having a terrible time with bugs and pests appearing in our home. We try to get chemicals out of our house as much as possible, and we figured we'd write you and ask if you knew of any natural repellants that might provide us with some relief. Sleeping at night has become quite difficult due to the frequency of mosquitos in our bedroom.

Best,
Ronald P. Jumpsmith

Dear Mr. Jumpsmith,

Indeed I do know of some all natural pest control that you may mix up at home. Did you know that making a paste out of two parts of cream cheese to one part of black pepper and one part of cinnamon makes for a good pest repellant? It either repels pests or attracts racoons, can't remember which one. Either way, you try it and let me know what happens.

Dr. Andy,

My husband has been watching many of those antique hunter television programs. As a result, he's begun going around the area and “picking” the best items that he feels he can restore and resale for higher value. I've tried numerous times to tell him this is all folly, but he doesn't seem to listen to me. This “hobby” of his has taken over the garage, and is slowly creeping its way into the house. Is there any way I could possibly get through to him?

Concerned,
Susan Widewith

Dear Mrs. Widewith,

When ones spouse has taken up a hobby that the other finds infuriating, it can be difficult to have a frank discussion about it without seeming hostile. I'd suggest sitting down and having a frank, but open conversation with your husband about this. I'm sure once you both discuss it together aloud, you'll find common ground. If that doesn't work, just shake the ever loving hell out of him till he comes around.

Dear Dr. Andy,

I'm an elderly woman who doesn't enjoy sex.


 I'm afraid this is all the time we have for now, hopefully before too long I'll be able to take the time to answer more of your pressing questions. Keep sending those cards and letters.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mr. Thompson, Thanksgiving, and Her

-
Image
I was standing in the fresh market, and I was having a panic attack. I’ve cooked Thanksgiving meals before. I’ve been in supermarkets the day of Thanksgiving with no trouble at all. This was different. I was getting ready to cook Thanksgiving dinner for a woman I found myself attracted to. We had gone out a few times, and each time was even lovelier than the last. Despite my angst and bitter disposition at the universe for the way that romance has treated me, the fact of the matter is, as Morrisey said, “I am human and I need to be loved.” Grocery shopping is one of the ways I relax, I know that’s weird, but that’s me. The rational part of my brain began to counter my panic centers as soon as the attack started. “Dude, you’re in a grocery store! You love this! Bread! Food! Cheese! Cookies! Those really nice organic cleaning products! Chill, brah.” Logically I knew I had this. I’ve cooked entire holiday meals by myself before. But the part of my brain that fuels the anxiety a
Read more

The Strangest Movie I've Ever Seen

-
Image
There are certain movies that defy description. Movies that are so strange, so bizarre, people would swear you were making them up, until you actually produced a copy of the film and showed it to them. There are movies in this world that were designed to be weird from the get go, but nothing is quite as weird as movie that wasn't designed that way. A movie that was made just as any other movie on the yearly slate for the studio. A movie that was made not as a strange B picture, but as a major A production, with a big name cast, a budget, and everything. Such a movie is MGM's 1971 picture Pretty Maids All in a Row . It is, without question, the weirdest movie I've ever seen. Pretty Maids All in a Row is such an odd movie, that I have a hard time trying to wrap my brain around it. It's very much a product of its time, and very much the kind of movie that NO ONE would dare try to make today. It's a film that I had never heard of, until a recent DVD release b
Read more

Blood Cold Mysteries

-
Image
If there is one bit of esoteric classic movie stuff that simply fascinates me, it’s the trilogy of films directed by veteran actor William Conrad—and all released in 1965. They’re the three of only four feature films directed by Conrad, who spent all of his other directorial adventures on the small screen. The late William Conrad was a famed actor, playing Matt Dillon on the original radio version of “Gunsmoke,” and coming to full pop culture fame on TV in “Cannon” & “Jake and The Fat Man.” For this writer, Conrad will always be immortal for being the narrator on “Rocky & Bullwinkle.”  The three films in question all were released by Warner Brothers—where Conrad had a production office it seems—and are: “Brainstorm,” “Two On A Guillotine,” and the film I’m going to talk about today, “My Blood Runs Cold.” One of the reasons I’m fascinated by these three films is my built in soft spot for 1960s, black and white horror fare with crazy, bombastic promotion. I adore the f
Read more