I'd Like to Issue an Apology

-
To my friends, fans, and family.

I'd like to take a moment and issue an apology. I'm sure by now most of you know that in a recent interview in Modern Maturity, I made some controversial statements that made many people upset. I'd like to begin by reminded you of what I, foolishly, said. In the interview I stated: “I don't see how anyone could enjoy the Xbox One or Playstation Four, when Nintendo's Wii U is the clearly superior system.”

The outrage was immediate and immense. I lost half of my Twitter followers, three to be exact, and many people were calling for my resignation. The sharpest repercussion that took place was my suspension from my hit YouTube Series, Squirrel Dallas, in which actors in squirrel costumes re-create scenes from the famous 1980s primetime soap opera Dallas (and I was playing J.R. too!). Amazingly , for as many people as were upset, as many were angry that people were angry. There was a Facebook group called “Put Andy Back In The Squirrel Costume” and #SaveSquirrelDallas became a number one trending topic on Twitter.

I was overwhelmed by the amount of hate mail that came flooding in, “How dare you say Mario is better than Master Chief,” and people crying out “You're not a real gamer! Go to bed old man!” Would I call myself a serious gamer? No, not at all. I'm by no means perfect, and I've always been more of a casual gamer. Yet, I have realized that just because I enjoy the slower pace of a virtual console version of Super Castlevania, doesn't mean you can't play your fancy Call of Duty game.

To be honest, I'm downright impressed by how gaming technology has advanced to some really amazingly realistic graphics. Yet, I will always have a special place in my heart for 8-bit and 16-bit games I spent so many happy days of my childhood playing. Still, what I said was stupid and pointless. What's it matter which gaming system people enjoy? It's stupid to get upset at each other over petty things like video games. You enjoy your Xbox, I like my Nintendo. No big whoop.

So I am sorry, I'm sorry if what I said caused you any pain, and I hope you can forgive me. I'd like for us all to move on as quickly as possible, and I'd really like to return to Squirrel Dallas as well. We're getting amped up to shoot out version of the famous “Who Shot J.R.?” sequence, and I really want to be the one to do it.

Again, I am sorry for what I said, and I hope that in this coming year we can move past it, and get along with each other better. I also wish to publicly state that upon my return to my web series, I will donate a significant portion of my lofty, $20.00 an episode salary to charity. Thank you for your time today, and I hope I can get pretend shot in a squirrel costume on the internet soon.

Best wishes,


Andy Ross

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mr. Thompson, Thanksgiving, and Her

-
Image
I was standing in the fresh market, and I was having a panic attack. I’ve cooked Thanksgiving meals before. I’ve been in supermarkets the day of Thanksgiving with no trouble at all. This was different. I was getting ready to cook Thanksgiving dinner for a woman I found myself attracted to. We had gone out a few times, and each time was even lovelier than the last. Despite my angst and bitter disposition at the universe for the way that romance has treated me, the fact of the matter is, as Morrisey said, “I am human and I need to be loved.” Grocery shopping is one of the ways I relax, I know that’s weird, but that’s me. The rational part of my brain began to counter my panic centers as soon as the attack started. “Dude, you’re in a grocery store! You love this! Bread! Food! Cheese! Cookies! Those really nice organic cleaning products! Chill, brah.” Logically I knew I had this. I’ve cooked entire holiday meals by myself before. But the part of my brain that fuels the anxiety a
Read more

The Strangest Movie I've Ever Seen

-
Image
There are certain movies that defy description. Movies that are so strange, so bizarre, people would swear you were making them up, until you actually produced a copy of the film and showed it to them. There are movies in this world that were designed to be weird from the get go, but nothing is quite as weird as movie that wasn't designed that way. A movie that was made just as any other movie on the yearly slate for the studio. A movie that was made not as a strange B picture, but as a major A production, with a big name cast, a budget, and everything. Such a movie is MGM's 1971 picture Pretty Maids All in a Row . It is, without question, the weirdest movie I've ever seen. Pretty Maids All in a Row is such an odd movie, that I have a hard time trying to wrap my brain around it. It's very much a product of its time, and very much the kind of movie that NO ONE would dare try to make today. It's a film that I had never heard of, until a recent DVD release b
Read more

Blood Cold Mysteries

-
Image
If there is one bit of esoteric classic movie stuff that simply fascinates me, it’s the trilogy of films directed by veteran actor William Conrad—and all released in 1965. They’re the three of only four feature films directed by Conrad, who spent all of his other directorial adventures on the small screen. The late William Conrad was a famed actor, playing Matt Dillon on the original radio version of “Gunsmoke,” and coming to full pop culture fame on TV in “Cannon” & “Jake and The Fat Man.” For this writer, Conrad will always be immortal for being the narrator on “Rocky & Bullwinkle.”  The three films in question all were released by Warner Brothers—where Conrad had a production office it seems—and are: “Brainstorm,” “Two On A Guillotine,” and the film I’m going to talk about today, “My Blood Runs Cold.” One of the reasons I’m fascinated by these three films is my built in soft spot for 1960s, black and white horror fare with crazy, bombastic promotion. I adore the f
Read more